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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276661">Feel, Don't Conceal</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/anywhozits/pseuds/anywhozits'>anywhozits</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Post Canonverse / Activist Anna [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Frozen (Disney Movies)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Elsa has a bit of a mental breakdown, Eventual Romance, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Post-Canon, Stargazing, They're in love but like they may not know it yet</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 00:42:42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,601</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24276661</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/anywhozits/pseuds/anywhozits</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After finding out that Anna is pregnant, Elsa does a lot of feeling and not concealing, but thankfully Honeymaren is there to welcome her back to the enchanted forest and make her feel more at ease. But they're just friends--right?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Elsa/Honeymaren (Disney)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Post Canonverse / Activist Anna [2]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1754791</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Feel, Don't Conceal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>wrote this awhile ago for a friend's birthday - sequel to my charades pregnancy announcement story that I just posted on here! </p>
<p>pretty sure I've seen some similar stories posted but thought I'd do it anyway! hope you enjoy :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Elsa shook her head, climbing with ease onto Nokk’s back, sighing heavily, too many thoughts racing through her mind to concentrate on anything in particular. Her hand reached out to stroke Nokk’s neck, a soothing gesture that always brought the two closer together, Nokk instantly calming under Elsa’s touch. A gesture that Elsa now hoped would make her feel the same sense of ease.</p>
<p>Nokk whinnied expectantly and Elsa responded by ushering the horse to go, tapping Nokk’s belly with her heels.</p>
<p>Before she knew it, Elsa’s eyes prickled with tears. Not even tiny sputters of water, too—big, fat teardrops barely kept at bay until they spilled harshly down her cheeks.</p>
<p>Her first instinct was to bury her face deep into Nokk’s mane, holding on tighter, giving the horse a desperate hug. Nokk noticed this change and slowed.</p>
<p>Elsa’s cries quickly turned frantic. She gasped for air, clumsily, without thinking about it, barely taking in oxygen. More fat tears rolled down her face.</p>
<p>What had brought her to this point? The second she stepped out of the castle, waving farewell joyfully to Anna, Kristoff, and Olaf, she had felt at peace. Complacent. Happy. Excited, even.</p>
<p>But now…</p>
<p>But now something had cracked. Elsa no longer felt any trace of excitement. No, now she worried.</p>
<p>She worried for Anna. She worried for herself. She wondered what the future would look like. Maybe she even dreaded the future.</p>
<p>This crisis, brought on by her sister’s pregnancy announcement no less, made Elsa feel less than. She had worked tirelessly for <em>years</em> to keep a lid on her emotions.</p>
<p>Conceal, don’t feel. Bury those emotions deep, deep, deep within her core. Don’t let them surface. When they mattered, yes. She had learned that much over the years. She didn’t want them to consume her alive by <em>constantly </em>pushing them away. She could let her emotions out when she wanted to. She had grown to allow that to happen. The thing was—she controlled them. She could have <em>controlled </em>emotional breakdowns when she deemed them warranted. She could let some tears flow onto her pillow in the privacy of her tent in the enchanted forest.</p>
<p>But not here. Not now. Not when she knew the expectant Northuldran faces who would greet her upon her return would not be able to see through her red, swollen eyes. She wasn’t ready for them to see her vulnerable.</p>
<p>But somehow…</p>
<p>But somehow… <em>this</em>. Anna and Kristoff arranging a silly charades baby announcement had broken her. She simply had lost all control over her tears and her emotions and her vulnerability and could do nothing but hug Nokk tighter thinking of this.</p>
<p>She didn’t mean for something so … domestic to affect her. </p>
<p>Everything was going to change. Everything. Anna, at 22 years old, was going to be a <em>mother. </em>And Kristoff a father. This was the start of a whole new chapter of their lives, and as much as Elsa felt she could be involved as an aunt, she knew that there were new accompanying expectations that she was sure to never live up to. Besides, living in the enchanted forest meant she couldn’t be there for the baby and eventual child and eventual teenager’s big milestones. She would miss so many moments of their life.</p>
<p>And more than that—she would miss so many important moments of <em>Anna’s </em>life. Sure, she would make it back to Arendelle for the birth. Sure, she could go for the christening. But game nights probably wouldn’t exist anymore. At least not in the same way.</p>
<p>Elsa started gasping for air again.</p>
<p>The thought of charades falling by the wayside had sent her spiraling.</p>
<p>Even though she had <em>always</em> hated charades. Always hated how truly godawful she was at it—it was still something she enjoyed doing with her sister. And it was about to <em>change</em>. This hit Elsa palpably. Viscerally. She clutched her chest quickly, worried her heart no longer <em>threatened</em> to beat right out of it.</p>
<p>The baby would be wonderful. Yes. Absolutely wonderful. But would she lose Anna as a result?</p>
<p>Then she would be all alone.</p>
<p>Elsa gasped for air again, trying to take deep breaths. In and out. Taking Nokk’s mane in her hands and twirling it, therapeutically. Or at least—she hoped, therapeutically.</p>
<p>Her mind cleared for a second. A moment of clarity. This whole breakdown situation didn’t even make sense. She worried about losing Anna because she was pregnant? She worried about being alone?</p>
<p>Her tears had started to dry. Breakdown turned contemplation. Perhaps turned revelation.</p>
<p>Alone—curious. Something Elsa didn’t know she cared about. Something Elsa always expected she desired. But maybe she didn’t. Maybe being alone wasn’t all she had expected. Maybe seeing Kristoff and Anna growing together had made an impact on her. Maybe Kristoff brought out the best in Anna. Maybe Anna brought out the best in Kristoff. Maybe they were maturing and adapting and <em>loving </em>to a degree that both fascinated and confused Elsa. In a way that Elsa thought maybe…</p>
<p>Her mind shot to Honeymaren quickly. Smiling. Brown hair flowing graciously in the wind, Gale blowing circles of leaves around her face but Honeymaren graciously batting them away. She laughed, softly first, a little giggle. And then as Gale brought more gusts of wind, Honeymaren guffawed, deep, guttural.</p>
<p>Elsa shot back to reality. She loosened her grip on Nokk’s neck slightly and brought her head up to look at the dark sky. The constellations were out in full force on this cool October night.</p>
<p>She longed to spend an evening staring into the pure majesty of those glistening centers of gas. An evening of solitude. Or, rather—what used to satisfy her craving for transcendental moments gazing at the sky. Now she wanted to share the experience. Perhaps with Anna or Kristoff, even. Ryder, maybe. Olaf, less so. But who was Elsa kidding? One person trumped the rest.</p>
<p>Nokk came to a halt rather suddenly, and it took Elsa awhile to fully comprehend that they had made it back to the forest. She slid easily from the horse, landing with force on brown leaves that rustled and cracked under her feet.</p>
<p>Sounds of leaves rustling grew louder and louder in a crescendo, and Elsa looked around, confused. Worried, even. Knowing that this sound meant somebody had noted her arrival.</p>
<p>She breathed out steadily the second she realized who it was, though. When she heard that wonderful sing-songy voice call out to her. “Elsa! You’re back!”</p>
<p>Elsa’s mouth opened as wide as it could to smile though her eyes still filled steadily with a stream of tears that flowed down a track on her cheeks. She bit her bottom lip to try to stop the flow, to not worry Maren. She could pull together. Not wanting Maren to think of her as any different. As any more human than spirit.</p>
<p>Thankfully Maren started by helping Elsa gather her bags. Somehow she hadn’t made any direct eye contact. This gave Elsa enough time to calm down, to assure that the tears had halted their flow. “Didn’t spend the night this week?”</p>
<p>Now Maren looked up, taking in the delicate strength of Elsa’s features almost shimmering in the night sky.</p>
<p>Elsa looked at the ground, then, shuffling her feet. The leaves rustled again. “No—I… I really wanted to be back here. In the open space.”</p>
<p>Maren nodded, staring intently at Elsa’s face now, curious. Elsa tried to divert her attention to anything else. She wished she had wiped her cheeks when Maren had started gathering up all the bags, and then it wouldn’t be quite so obvious.</p>
<p>Instead, tracks of the tears that had rolled down her cheeks now glistened in the soft glow of the moonlight. Maren took a step toward her, running her fingers along Elsa’s face to dry her tears. “Are you okay? I don’t know why but I got a sense maybe this would be an emotional visit for you...”</p>
<p>“Oh. Well—I’m fine. I…” She didn’t know how to explain. In fact—she didn’t <em>want </em>to explain. The whole mess of what had sent Elsa on this spiral likely involved the very woman who stood before her. Explaining why she cried… it went beyond what Elsa wanted to admit. <em>Far </em>beyond. “I’m okay <em>now</em>,” she chose to say instead.</p>
<p>Then Elsa heard some crunching leaves yet again. Ryder, this time. Her hands quickly brushed her cheeks in recovery, but not fast enough for Ryder to fail to notice.</p>
<p>In typical Ryder fashion he had to call her out, too. “Whoa Elsa what’s eating you?”</p>
<p>Elsa bit her lip while Maren furrowed her eyebrows. Not a funny joke this time, Ryder.</p>
<p>“That <em>exclusive</em> family game night not all it was cracked up to be, huh? I can’t believe we weren’t invited. Talk about a slap in the face.”</p>
<p>Maren rolled her eyes. “Oh, shut up, Ryder,” she said, turning away from him quickly, ignoring his offended ‘hey.’ She reached out her hand for Elsa to take. “Come on, Elsa what do you say we get out of here?”</p>
<p>Elsa nodded, but said nothing, grabbing Maren’s hand in sheer resolve, feeling her stomach drop the second her fingers interlaced with Maren’s. Elsa had to squeeze her eyes tightly to keep herself from internally screaming about how badly she had it. How thankful she was that these feelings were starting to surface… that they had finally been set free…</p>
<p>But at the same time how worried she was that those feelings were not returned.</p>
<p><em>Technically</em> they were holding hands right now. Technically. Sure, it served a purpose. But their hands were interlaced and it was intimate and beautiful and wonderful. But it didn’t mean anything. No, not necessarily.</p>
<p>Maren pulled her faster, so much so that Elsa almost feared her arm was about to break free from her shoulder socket. She giggled. “Where are we going?”</p>
<p>“I have somewhere to show you,” she smiled. Well—Elsa couldn’t exactly see Maren’s face, but she could make out the smile from her tone of voice.</p>
<p>They sprinted for what felt like ten minutes or so, long enough that Elsa found herself panting quickly to try to catch her breath. Maren seemed unphased. That girl was amazing.</p>
<p>When Honeymaren pulled Elsa onto the perch, positioning her perfectly so she could take in the expansive view, Elsa took in a breath.</p>
<p>A small clearing of trees gave them a wonderful area of grass and fallen leaves, high up on top of a cliff, providing them with an uninterrupted view of the enchanted forest. Of the lakes, of the earth giants, of the ocean leading to Ahtohallan. And most importantly… a beautiful view of the stars. So many constellations sparkled full force on that autumn night.</p>
<p>“Isn’t this the prettiest view you’ve ever seen?” Maren bumps into Elsa, encouraging her to sing its praises. To geek out a little bit.</p>
<p>“It really is.”</p>
<p>“I stumbled upon it while picking some berries earlier today. When you were back in Arendelle. Perfect timing, really. Like it’s fate or something, you know?”</p>
<p>Elsa felt like she could hear her heart beating faster and faster within her chest. What was Maren saying? Like <em>what’s</em> fate? Them being here… them watching the stars in this exact location? Or… well—probably just that Maren found somewhere Elsa would love to see the same day Elsa decided to have a mental breakdown. That had to be it, right?</p>
<p>“Yes. Really, it must be fate.” Elsa was unable to think of anything else to say. She couldn’t—every single word or phrase felt indescribably risky.</p>
<p>“It’s so strange, really. That I’ve lived here my whole life but there’s still so much to discover.”</p>
<p>Elsa smiled, then. Honeymaren has some kind of uncanny ability to get reflective and deep, always living fully and freely in every single moment. Searching for and uncovering meanings within the most basic of situations. Something Elsa had always admired in her … friend.</p>
<p>“Do you want to stay here awhile? Watch the stars? Maybe you can teach me a little bit about astrology or the constellations or anything, really. I know you love that kind of stuff.”</p>
<p>Elsa nodded. Still shy. Excited, but shy. She could think of nothing else she would rather do that night than watch the stars with Honeymaren.</p>
<p>They both sank down to the ground. The grass was a little damp, no doubt giving them some mud stains they’d later have to wash from their clothing. But neither paid any mind to this. Leaves crinkled from their weight and they shifted closer together, so close that Elsa’s right arm grazed Maren’s left.</p>
<p>Elsa sighed. She felt better already.</p>
<p>Not alone… decidedly not alone.</p>
<p>And <em>this</em>. Sitting close to someone else… someone like Maren, and making so little noise, the two of them just taking in each other’s energy. It was almost as if they were alone <em>together. </em></p>
<p>Alone but not alone. Well, alone but not <em>lonely,</em> perhaps was the distinction.</p>
<p>Elsa took in the silence for a while. The silence brought her peace. She could hear the sounds of the few birds that remained, the sounds of the earth giants as they shook the ground with their movements, the sound of Maren breathing right next to her. That was the most beautiful sound of all.</p>
<p>She took a deep breath before finally breaking the silence. “Aren’t you going to ask me what’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“No,” Maren said. “You’ll tell me when you’re ready.”</p>
<p>“Oh… I—well, I’m ready now. If…”</p>
<p>“Then tell me, Els. I’m all ears. Whatever’s best for you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know where to start.”</p>
<p>“Maybe we can ease into it,” Maren said, flopping over so she faced Elsa, leaning her head on her hand. “Random thought. But… I’m guessing you can’t tell me anything about the exclusive game night for a while, huh?”</p>
<p>Elsa’s jaw dropped slightly. “How did you...?”</p>
<p>“I had a hunch. Your sister’s been looking pretty pale these past couple weeks. And she only ate one teeny tiny bit of food at the last game night before giving Kristoff the rest. And, that time, she was looking <em>green</em>.”</p>
<p>“Wow. You’re really observant.” Elsa realized then that she had actually seen zero of the signs. “I didn’t even… why didn’t you tell me?”</p>
<p>“I figured she wanted to tell you herself. In a cool way, too, I’m betting.”</p>
<p>Elsa nodded. “She did.” And then Maren laughed. That same laugh Elsa had thought of earlier… that same exquisite laugh.</p>
<p>“Guess she didn’t need those Honeymaren-approved herbs for very long...”</p>
<p>“No. She told me at least a hundred times she was going to stop those a few weeks before their royal wedding. Because…” Elsa cleared her throat to do her best Anna impression. “Nobody would count up to the exact <em>week</em> in legitimacy claims.’”</p>
<p>“And yet you still had no idea?”</p>
<p>Elsa grimaced while Maren laughed again. “When you put it that way…”</p>
<p>“So… do <em>you</em> want kids?”</p>
<p>“No,” Elsa said quickly, decisively. “Do you?</p>
<p>“I don’t think so. But I haven’t given it much thought, honestly. Which… almost certainly means no for someone like me.”</p>
<p>A palpable silence fell between them then. Elsa hadn’t expected Honeymaren’s answer and she had to take a moment to acknowledge their compatibility in something Elsa never expected.</p>
<p>Sure, she still didn’t know how Honeymaren felt about her. But at least now Elsa knew that maybe there could be a future… she wouldn’t hold Maren back from anything. They could just… be together. The two of them. Alone <em>together. </em></p>
<p>Elsa sighed. Knowing now was as good a time as any to finally bare her heart and soul. “I think that’s part of why I’m… I don’t know. Freaking out. We’re just so different—me and Anna. Our lives are going to change. And I have no sense of what that means for our relationship. How can we still be as close as we have been these past 4 years once she has 8 or 10 or 12 kids, you know?”</p>
<p>“Of course, Els. That’s scary. Change is scary. Especially when it’s something you hold so close to your heart that’s changing.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to do about it. I want to be happy for her. And I <em>am</em>. I’m so happy for her and Kristoff, but at the same time… I think I’m sad for me. I’m sad that I’m going to be left out. That I won’t <em>ever</em> be able to relate to this experience and I’m not part of <em>their</em> family, really. I’m not a Bjorgman, and… nothing’s going to be the same.”</p>
<p>“There isn’t anything wrong with being sad. You can be happy and at the same time you can be sad. There’s no <em>rule </em>that says you can only be one or the other. And besides, you <em>are </em>part of their family. You’re going to be Aunt Elsa. Maybe you won’t have the same last name, but I can assure you they’ll love you and need you and want you all the same. <em>Especially</em> if they have 12 kids. I mean. Damn. They’re gonna need Aunt Elsa’s help round the clock.”</p>
<p>Elsa took a moment to really understand what Honeymaren just said. “And Anna won’t… think of me less because I don’t want the same things she does? She won’t pull away because I’ll never have <em>mother</em> things to talk about?”</p>
<p>“I can’t guarantee anything. I don’t know Anna the way you do. But… it’s hard for me to believe that Anna would ever shut you out.”</p>
<p>Elsa gulped, then. Reminded of all the times and all the years she shut Anna out. Was it true that Elsa actually feared this? That she truly believed and worried that Anna would edge her out of their family life?</p>
<p>No—she couldn’t. That was just so… illogical. Clearly Anna would never do such a thing. Never. But.</p>
<p>Elsa was still worried.</p>
<p>So she said the two words that played on repeat in her brain. “I know.” But even though she <em>knew</em>, she still worried. She still had that plaguing fear.</p>
<p>And Maren capitalized on it. “Then what are you afraid of?”</p>
<p>“It’s scary because there’s no way to know for sure. It’s scary because the worst-case scenario is… bad. It’s really bad. And I…” Elsa went quiet suddenly. She was about to expose the biggest revelation of the evening. But she didn’t mean to say this to anybody. <em>Especially</em> not Honeymaren.</p>
<p>“What is it?”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life. I don’t want to have kids. But I also don’t want to be alone. I think… I think I want what Anna and Kristoff have. They were <em>so excited</em>, Maren. I wish you could’ve seen them.”</p>
<p>“They’re great together. And hey, Els. There’s nothing <em>written in the stars</em> that says that you have to be alone for the rest of your life. You’re young. You’ve got <em>years</em> to not be alone. And besides… I don’t know how much it counts for since I’m not Kristoff or anything, but. I’m your friend. I’m here to make sure you’re not lonely, okay? Me and Ryder and Anna and Kristoff too. Until you find your own Kristoff, that is.”</p>
<p>Elsa blushed. She knew she wasn’t quite ready to explain that <em>Kristoff </em>or anybody like Kristoff didn’t quite tickle her fancy, but for Maren to say anything like this already meant so much. Before she knew it, tears prickled in her eyes. Happy tears this time. Thankful tears this time. <em>Hopeful</em> tears. “You know I’ve never really had a friend before. Or well—a friend like you.” Honeymaren moved closer to Elsa, rolling over on her back, dropping her hand down to start brushing with Elsa’s own. “Thank you. I… honestly, you’ve already helped me so much.”</p>
<p>“Wow, you’re really feelings-y tonight, Els.” Honeymaren brought her hand closer still. Elsa tensed up. Not knowing quite what to expect but still knowing exactly what she wanted. If Maren actually grabbed her hand… if Maren actually reached out and interlaced Elsa’s fingers into her own, then that <em>had </em>to mean something, right? It wasn’t some kind of hand holding to get somewhere. It was a hand hold to seal their friendship. At the very least their friendship.</p>
<p>But Elsa didn’t want to overstep any bounds so she grew timid. “Oh, I’m sorry—is—”</p>
<p>“No, I like it,” Maren said, now seizing Elsa’s hand.</p>
<p>Her heart beat quickly. Her breath caught in her throat. This was it. This was exactly what she wanted. And it felt just as magical as she ever could expect. She only hoped that Honeymaren felt similarly…</p>
<p>And she feared she would never know.</p>
<p>Elsa turned her attention back to the night sky. The stars glistened beautifully, the cool and crisp air keeping everything clear. She could already identify at least three constellations, more, she was sure if she kept looking.</p>
<p>“Thanks for bringing me here,” Elsa said, finding lines of Pegasus gleaming on the canvas of the night sky. “It’s so peaceful... almost like nothing else exists. I can hear you breathing. I can see the stars...”</p>
<p>“You told me you’d teach me about them. The constellations. What can you see?”</p>
<p>“I’m looking at Pegasus right now.” Elsa pointed at the sky, drawing out the flying horse as much as she could, holding out hope that Honeymaren could see exactly what Elsa did. “There’s something called ‘The Great Square’ which is right up there. You see? Four stars that look like a square?”</p>
<p>Maren beamed. “Yes! Yes, I think I see the square.”</p>
<p>“And then if you just look a little bit to the right—do you see Pegasus now?”</p>
<p>“I think so?” Honeymaren grasped Elsa’s other hand now and pointed at the stars she thought formed Pegasus but actually looked more like random lines. But she was right, and Elsa nodded enthusiastically at her successes.</p>
<p>“You can find Andromeda from The Great Square too. If you look to where it’s pointing. I mean, the kind of left most point of the square leads to Andromeda…all the stars leading away from that square. Right…” Elsa leads their combined hands over to the left. “Here. You see?”</p>
<p>“Mmhmm.”</p>
<p>“I think I can make out Lacterta, but that’s a little harder to show you. Oh! I know Grus is meant to be out tonight, too.”</p>
<p>“Elsa, your inner <em>nerd</em> is showing through,” Honeymaren said, laughing a little.</p>
<p>But Elsa ignored her. “Oh, and Aquarius, which is pretty special since it’s your sign.”</p>
<p>“Are you gonna to go off about astrology again?”</p>
<p>“I know you love it.”</p>
<p>“Okay, fine. I do. You’re right. What did you say the rest of my signs are? Can you just---give me a whole new reading? Because I love it when you do that.”</p>
<p>Love.</p>
<p>Elsa’s heart fluttered at the word. It didn’t mean anything, most likely. Just a word chosen by Honeymaren to describe their friendship. Probably.</p>
<p>But she had still said <em>love</em>.</p>
<p>And Elsa obviously knew Honeymaren’s entire chart off the top of her head. So she was ready to impress. “Well, you’re sun Aquarius and moon Sagittarius which means you’re really free-spirited, adventurous, you act without thinking but not in a bad way! And you’re honest and direct… you like talking about… philosophy and the future. And you’re really, really creative. The most creative. Plus your Pisces rising means you care a lot about people and you’re sensitive and empathetic. I’m not just saying this, okay? You have a great chart, Maren.”</p>
<p>“Cool. Good for me, then, huh? Oh, and pretty cool you remembered all that too, Els,” Honeymaren said, biting her lip before asking her next question.“So are we compatible? Is it <em>written in the stars</em> that we’re meant to be… friends?”</p>
<p>Elsa didn’t know if she imagined that pause before Honeymaren said anything about them being friends. But she heard it. She really <em>thought</em> she heard it. And it made her squeeze Maren’s hand a little tighter.</p>
<p>“I’m the ball of anxiety to your go with the flow creativity. So, yes. I think we balance each other out.”</p>
<p>“Aww.”</p>
<p>“Oh! I have a fun idea,” Elsa said, dropping Maren’s hand quickly, slightly regretting it but then bringing her hands together in a sweeping motion, bits of ice and snow flying out as she did this. She sat up and held the newly created ice object out to Maren. “This is a sextant. It’s what navigators used to find their position based on the stars. Well, also the moon and the planets. But the stars are my favorite. Basically, if we wanted to do some ocean navigation we would just have to look for Polaris,” Elsa stepped toward Maren, guiding her closer, placing the ice sextant into her hands, using her astute eye to position Maren properly so she could see Polaris through the curves of ice. “Just like that… can you see it?” Maren nodded and Elsa kept her hands perfectly on top of Maren’s. So much so that her heart beat heavily in her chest. Thwump thwump. Thwump thwump. Elsa shivered a bit, too excited. She leaned in closer. “And then we would measure its latitude. If we were on the water, that is.” Maren laughed at that. “So that wherever we go, no matter where it is, we always have Polaris to guide us home,” Elsa said, leaving the sextant in Maren’s hands but taking a few steps away from her. “Pretty cool, huh?”</p>
<p>Looking at Elsa, utterly dumbfounded, Maren cocked her head. “How did you learn all of this?”</p>
<p>And Elsa smiled. “I could see the stars from my window. When I was younger and stuck in there all the time. That was my one connection to the outside. The stars…” Maren cocked her head again. “Oh and I read a lot of books.”</p>
<p>Another one of those perfect belly laughs escaped Maren’s lips. She shook her head slightly. “You and your books!”</p>
<p>“<em>What</em>? You can learn so much from reading!” Elsa pouted playfully and walked up to Maren, grabbing the sextant in a way that made it disappear in one quick poof.</p>
<p>“Nerd!” Maren stuck out her tongue.</p>
<p>“Hey!” Elsa yelled.</p>
<p>And then Maren bit her lip. She walked slowly up to Elsa and grabbed both of her hands. “I mean that in a good way. The best way.”</p>
<p>There was no way this could be platonic, right?</p>
<p>Maybe Elsa would write to Anna later and ask. This didn’t feel platonic. This didn’t feel like anything other than… romance.</p>
<p>This felt like a partnership. Even if it were <em>just friendship</em>, it still was still empowering and enlightening. Lifting her up to feel the exact opposite of lonely. And if Honeymaren meant everything she said earlier, then this was for real. This was forever.</p>
<p>Friends, at the very least.</p>
<p>Friends. Or something more.</p>
<p>And as Elsa’s hands sensed the warmth radiating from Maren’s… she realized that not all change was bad. Not all change incited the worst kind of fear in Elsa’s core. Sure, she still had such intense fear that somehow she would be edged out of Anna’s growing family. Sure, she worried that their relationship would suffer when Anna acknowledged that Elsa would never truly enter the same chapter in life. But… it would be okay.</p>
<p>Elsa could count the reasons why it would be okay.</p>
<p>These hands. This view. This girl.</p>
<p>It would be okay, it would be okay.</p>
<p>It will be okay.</p>
<p>It will.</p>
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